The Biggest Lie

The Biggest Lie


Aya Fubara Eneli, M.A., J.D.



The biggest lie you tell is the one you tell yourself and many of us have gotten so comfortable with our self-deception, we don’t even notice when we are doing it anymore. The biggest lie is when we convince ourselves that our circumstances, emotions, desires and passions are so unique that no one else so uniquely talented that we will not succumb to what has taken other under.

It is this kind of thinking that enables a married man to willfully engage in a sexual affair and justify his actions. I have coached an individual who convinced herself she was head over heels in love with a man who had been divorced four times in 20 years and their love was so unique that the relationship was bound to work.

Do you really believe the sales person is looking out for your financial future when they encourage you to purchase an item you don’t need at the expense of saving? Do you really believe that in the long run you can eat whatever you want, eschew exercise, avoid regular check-ups and still be healthy? Really?

For some of us, there is no length to which we will not go in lying to ourselves just so we can do what we want to do with a seemingly clear conscience. Jessica Hawn, a former church secretary who committed immoral acts with Jim Bakker (former host of the internationally renowned Praise the Lord Club), and later brought down the PTL empire, said in an interview that “God gave her ‘real peace’ about posing topless for Playboy magazine.” Wow!

As the Bible says, “There is nothing new under the sun.” Certain choices and behaviors most likely than not will lead to the same consequences. For instance, what happens to the individual who is so convinced that since they work hard every day, they have earned the right to drink a case of beer or a bottle of wine before they go to bed each night? Does anyone plan to become an addict? But people become addicted to drugs, alcohol, sex and so on because they never proactively took the steps to ensure they didn’t. Telling ourselves we are in control and know when to stop will bury us every time.

How about the student who decides he or she is so talented that attending classes and turning in assignments is a waste of time, what’s the likely outcome of their grades? I see parents who were so self-absorbed in their own careers, wants and needs wonder why their children are estranged from them.

The truth about lying to and deceiving ourselves is that deep inside, we know what we are doing, and we choose to ignore wisdom. Jerry Lambert writes about a school teacher who lost her life savings in a business scheme set up by a swindler.

“When her investment disappeared and her dream was shattered, she went to the Better Business Bureau.” Why on earth didn’t you come to us first?” the official asked. “Didn’t you know about the Better Business Bureau?” “Oh, yes,” said the lady sadly. “I’ve always known about you. But I didn’t come because I was afraid you’d tell me not to do it.”

Facing the truth about ourselves can sometimes be a painful proposition, but the alternative is a definite killer of dreams, hopes and lives. It is time to make the choice not only to be truthful with yourself, but to dig deep and find the courage to make choices based on truth. I wish you an abundant life.

Aya Fubara Eneli is a best-selling author, Christian Life Coach, Motivational Speaker and Attorney. Her life’s purpose is to empower and equip people to live up to their highest potential. Contact her today for a complimentary coaching session. For more information, visit, follow her on twitter @ayaeneli or e-mail her at