Creating and Living a Balanced Life

Living a balanced life is a choice you make with every decision and indecision.

Creating and Living a Balanced Life

Aya Fubara Eneli, M.A., J.D.

The number two most frequent source of frustration I hear from my clients is the lack of balance in their lives. (In case you are wondering, the #1 frustration is not feeling fulfilled.) The
Holidays which are supposed to be Holy Days filled with peace, good will and merriment actually exacerbate this lack of balance and has resulted in many people becoming so out of control that they crash and burn and injure everyone around them in the process.

The good news is that we do not have to live that way. We are human beings and not mere puppets who have no say over
the direction of our lives and the choices we make. In other words, if you can acknowledge that your life is out of balance, you can do something to change that if you want.

For those who may still need to be convinced that it is not the norm to live unbalanced lives (just because you and your circle of friends are all living in a tizzy does not mean that it is an optimal or desired state to be in), consider a car. How smooth is your drive and what is the cost of the excessive wear and tear that occurs when a car is repeatedly driven while it is out of balance?

Living off balance for an extended period of time carries a heavy price. Our blood pressure rises, we build up toxins in our bodies, we get inadequate rest, we lose perspective because we are always in a rush or tired or stressed, we miss warning signs in our relationships, with our finances, our vocations and such, we are more ill-tempered and that takes a toll on relationships, we skip out on our spiritual growth and development, and we never slow down enough to really savor life and live out our life purpose. Did you know that medications for treating hypertension and depression make up the Top 10 List of most prescribed medications in the US?

So, how do we get back on track and create and live balanced lives? Well, first you have to decide that you really want a balanced life. Why is living a balanced life important to you? What does balance mean to you? If you can’t answer those questions with conviction, you will never commit to the work it requires to create and live with balance.

Secondly, you must identify your values and what is most important to you. Ask yourself, if I could do only 3 things in my lifetime, what would they be? What matters to you? What is
important to your soul, spirit and mind? Now, weigh every decision you make (every single one) against what you say you value. Do you value your marriage, but make no time for your spouse? Do you say you value your children, but ignore them nonetheless? The more congruence between your decisions and your values, the less off balance you will be.

Thirdly, remember that living a balanced life is a choice. You have to choose balance and in order to attain it; you must be willing to pay the price. The price is that you will sometimes have to say no to things you like that are however not the best choice for you. You will have to contend with people who choose to be offended when you don’t jump on their agendas. You will have to be disciplined.

I liken living in balance to riding a bicycle. When you are on a bike, at any point in time, there are hundreds of muscles engaged to keep you in balance. Get too relaxed and lose focus and you will soon find yourself teetering and perhaps falling. But like successfully riding a bicycle, the rewards are immense. The ride is much more enjoyable, you actually get to enjoy the scenery, and you reach your destination; on time and intact.

Choose a life of balance today. Say ‘No’ to the good so you can say ‘Yes’ to the best. I wish you a Merry Christmas.

Aya Fubara Eneli is a best-selling author, Christian
Life Coach, Motivational Speaker and Attorney. Her life’s purpose is to empower  and equip people to live up to their highest potential. For more information or
to book her for your next event, visit, or e-mail her at