Are You Tired of Living Hurt?
Aya Fubara Eneli, M.A., J.D.
How much energy and time have you already expended today being hurt? I am talking about the depression, the over analysis as to why someone would treat you in that manner and the numerous calls and Facebook posts to get “it” off your chest.
– If you are tired of being hurt and staying hurt, read on. Otherwise stop now so your feelings don’t get hurt. Here are some suggestions to assist you in protecting yourself from being hurt in the first place and to help you get over being hurt faster.
– Change Your perspective. Ask yourself simple questions: “Does this really matter?” “Is this worth getting bent out of shape for?” “Is there a different meaning I can give to what was said?” The reason we get upset or hurt sometimes has less to do with what was said or done, but rather it is the meaning we attach to it that causes us pain. For instance, if your spouse neglects to call you, you can decide that means you don’t matter enough to them, or you can assume they were focused on getting their work done and getting back to you as soon as possible. The meaning you choose will determine your emotion.
– Give People the Benefit of the Doubt. Rather than immediately jumping to conclusions and feeling hurt, what if you assumed the best of the other person and then tried to ascertain the truth. Did they fail to invite you because they think you aren’t good enough for them or was it an honest oversight? Stop assuming the worst.
– Get over Yourself and Practice Humility. One of the reasons some of us get hurt/offended so easily is because we have put ourselves up on a pedestal. Has it ever occurred to you that it is not all about you? Can you imagine that people actually make decisions or speak without first considering how their words or actions may impact you? Your spouse did not ignore the dirty dishes to spite you. Your co-worker was not thinking of your allergies when they put on perfume that day. Your “It’s-All-About-Me” mentality will bury you.
-Practice Forgiveness. How long are you going to carry the pain, anger and hatred? When will you tire of losing your joy and peace as you re-hash past hurtful events. Even when you determine that someone intentionally or callously hurt you, for your own happiness, you must make a decision to forgive so you can move on. Forgiveness is not so much for the other person as it is for you.
-Practice Self-Love. A key component to preventing and overcoming hurts is to know who you are and to love yourself no matter what others may think, say or do. When you are deeply rooted in the knowledge that God loves you and thinks so much of you that He sacrificed His only son for you, it is so much easier not to be hurt by people who (for whatever reasons) cannot see or appreciate you for who you are.
Let this be the year you let the hurts go and just live your life. Remember that hurting people hurt others. Get over your hurts, be free and free others. I wish you your abundant life.
Aya Fubara Eneli is a best-selling author, Christian Life Coach, Motivational Speaker and Attorney. Her life’s purpose is to empower and equip people to live up to their highest potential. She and her husband live in Central Texas with their five miraculous children. For more information or to participate in her upcoming teleseminar, visit www.ayaeneli.com, follow her on twitter @ayaeneli or e-mail her at firstname.lastname@example.org.